Mormons add to your beliefs, not take away

I love, love, love that our church adds to people's belief, not take away. That's something that I do day-to-day-to-day everyday here as a missionary.

"Let you come to our church and see what we can add to your beliefs, we won't take away your beliefs or stomp on them, we'll add to them, like a puzzle. It's fun!"
- President Gordon B. Hinckley

You see, our church adds to people's beliefs in a kinda different way than what you think. When people come to our church and want to be members, we simply ask them to talk to the missioanries. The missionaries (that's me) would then sit them down and start to tell them what to believe, in a sense, 'adding' to what they already know, line upon line, letters upon letters.

How do we do this? Simple. When the missionaries visit you, they'll tell you what to believe, letter upon letter, then we'll tell you to stop believing the things you use to believe. In this sense, we 'add' to what you believe, but first, we have to 'subtract' everything you use to believe, and then the sum total is your new beliefs! It's fun!

Now, for the next step, you have to 'divide' the number of beliefs you have by the sum total of the new beliefs you are going to have. This will give you your 'net ratio' of beliefs to non-beliefs, or 'past beliefs' as we call them in the church. For the last step, you just have to 'multiply' your new beliefs with the amount of tithing you're going to pay for the rest of your days, so that would n10%, so the formula for new beliefs is as follows:

New Mormon Belief Formula:
Ωbeliefs ÷ ∆beliefs x n10% = ∑ ∞Jesus ∆power

That's it. We don't take away anything, as you can obviously see for yourself.

Pray for me,

- Elder Gandy