Problem in the Mission

Well as for people we are working with we have a lot!!! We are very busy. The people we are finding are great people too. Stacey is a woman we found while we were walking around. She was having a yard sale so we went to "Go look around, haha". We gave her a Book of Mormom and in six days she read all the way to Helaman 14. I think she has finished it by now!

This past week we had our monthly zone conference. It was so awesome. I got to see some of my old friends from my first area, and then our mission president had something really important to say to all the Elders of the mission.

During the Zone conference, our mission president came out and asked for the sister missionaries to leave. He had something important that he wanted to talk to the Elders about, and so the Sisters were told to go home.

I was thinking that the Prophet had started the return to Missouri, and the Elders were going to get some special assignments to help build Zion, but alas, this was not the case. Not the case at all. Our Mission President started to talk about something that had been waning on his mind for some time. He said after talking with many Elders, he realized that he needed to say something in Zone conference to all the Elders.

There's an epidemic of masturbation in the mission.

President said that too many Elders had been guilty of self abuse, and that if we were (no I'm not guilty of that sin) that we should repent immediately. Just then, Elder Calhoon stood up in the meeting and started sobbing, and before he could say anything, Elder Johnson got up and started whining about something. They were both crying and saying how they were so sorry, but before they could go on, my mission president said that they should sit down and they should talk to him after the conference and not during the meeting.

Our mission president is so inspired. He said he's going to help the Elders of our mission in two ways.

First, from now on, every Elder will have to clap while in the bathroom. This will help us stay pure and worthy by not hitting the salami. Our comps are supposed to stand next to the door and listen to us clap. (I'm not too happy about this because when my comp goes number 2, it's really stinky, and I don't want to be next to the door, but I'll do what God asks of me).

Second, the president is going to install 'spiritual cameras' in our bedrooms and living rooms so the office elders can monitor our worthiness. He's going to put video cameras in our apartments and then have a new group of office elders constantly watching the video from the mission office. He says that this will help us all in being the most worthy missionaries we can be, and that it's better to have the spiritual cameras installed and operating all the time than to have us sin and be cast out to eternal darkness forever. When he puts it that way, I'm so excited to get the new cameras installed. I do not want to go out into space, yah, even eternal darkness.

Our mission president is so inspired, and I know that he's saying exactly what god wants him to say. I love my mission!!!!

Update: I guess this masturbation problem is cross missions!!! One of my friends serving in the france mission had his mission president talk about the problems of self abuse, too: